How Many Social Workers Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
One. But the light bulb has to want to change.
When I share this joke in workshops, there’s always a moment of recognition, followed by nervous laughter. Then comes the question I can set my watch by:
“But Heather, how do I motivate the light bulbs to change? What are the tricks? The psychological techniques? The magic words that flip the switch?”
And here’s where I have to disappoint people.
Because implicit in that question is an assumption: that the problem is the stubborn light bulb. That if we could just find the right technique, the right incentive, the right motivation, the right way to make people want to change, we could finally fix this toxic team.
It’s a very “blame the victim” way of thinking about change, isn’t it? Let’s focus on fixing the resistant employee, the unmotivated team, the stubborn light bulb that refuses to get with the program.
But that’s not what I do.
I don’t teach manipulation techniques for overcoming resistance. I don’t have a bag of tricks for “handling” difficult people. What I teach is something fundamentally different: how to create environments that support positive, functional cultures—environments where change becomes the natural response rather than something you have to force.
The question isn’t “How do I change the light bulb?”
The question is “What conditions am I creating, and are they making people want to change or making them resist?”
Let me tell you a different story. An old one, but one that gets at the heart of what actually works.
The Sun and the Wind
The Wind and the Sun were arguing about who was stronger. They spotted a traveler wearing a heavy coat and decided to settle their dispute with a contest: whoever could make the man remove his coat would be declared the winner.
The Wind went first. “This will be easy,” it thought. It blew with all its might—great gusting gales that should have torn the coat right off. But the harder the Wind blew, the tighter the man clutched his coat around himself. The Wind blew harder. The man gripped tighter. Eventually, the Wind gave up, exhausted and frustrated.
Then the Sun took its turn. It didn’t argue with the man. It didn’t try to convince him. It didn’t blow harder or strategize about the perfect angle of attack.
It simply shone—gently, warmly, steadily.
Within minutes, the man felt warm. He unbuttoned his coat. Then he took it off entirely, of his own accord.
Gentleness and warmth accomplished what force and fury could not.
This is the parable I want you to hold in your mind every time you’re trying to lead culture change. Because the question isn’t “How do I remove that coat?” The question is: “Am I being the Wind or the Sun?”
Most Leaders Are Accidentally the Wind
Here’s what typically happens in organizations when change is needed:
Leadership identifies a problem. Morale is down. Silos are entrenched. Deliverables are missed. Funding is threatened.
So they do what seems logical: they make a strong case for change. They craft a compelling vision. They communicate urgently and often. They set clear expectations, establish accountability, roll out new frameworks, mandate new behaviors.
They blow, and they blow hard.
And their people—just like the traveler—clutch their coats tighter.
They attend the mandatory workshops but remain disengaged. They nod in meetings but don’t change their behavior. They learn the new vocabulary but keep doing things the old way. They become experts at compliance theater while maintaining their defensive posture.
Six months later, leadership is baffled and frustrated. “We told them what needed to change. We explained why. We provided resources. Why are they being so resistant?”
But here’s what they’re missing: Resistance isn’t a character flaw in your people. It’s feedback about the conditions you’re creating.
When you approach change as force—as something you’re doing to people rather than with them—their natural response is to protect themselves. To protect their identity. To protect the familiar ways of working that have kept them safe.
Let’s pause for a moment for a definition. What is trauma?
Trauma is a psychological and physiological response to an event or series of events that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope and fundamentally disrupts their sense of safety, control, or wellbeing.
Are you traumatizing your team—no. But the Wind is reminding them of their potential past traumatic experiences and eliciting their fight, flight, freeze response. An unintended consequence of your Wind technique is to trigger your staff’s survival mode.
You’re not dealing with “stuck” light bulbs. You’re dealing with human beings who are responding rationally to a threatening environment.
The harder you blow, the tighter they hold on to their survival skills. Every day at work becomes a subconscious fight for survival.
The Wind’s Greatest Hits (And Why They Backfire)
Let me show you what Wind leadership looks like in practice:
The Urgency Blast: “We need to transform NOW. This is a crisis. We will lose our funding. You will lose your job.”
Why it backfires: Urgency triggers anxiety, and anxiety triggers self-protection. People in crisis mode don’t open up to possibility—they hunker down and defend what they know works.
The Mandate Storm: “Starting next quarter, everyone will collaborate across silos. This is not optional. Your performance will be measured on it.”
Why it backfires: Mandates create compliance, not commitment. You get people going through the motions while their hearts and minds remain elsewhere.
The Case Hurricane: “Let me show you the data. Here are seventeen slides proving why we need to change. The research is clear. The funders are circling. Look at these survey results. Do you want to keep this program going? What about your clients—they need you.”
Why it backfires: Logic doesn’t change culture. People don’t resist change because they lack information—they resist because change feels threatening to their identity, competence, and sense of stability.
The Accountability Gale: “We’re going to track these new behaviors closely. There will be consequences for those who don’t adapt. We’re serious this time.”
Why it backfires: When you lead with consequences, you create fear. And people who are afraid don’t take the risks that real culture change requires. They find ways to look compliant while changing as little as possible.
Do you see the pattern? Every one of these approaches is about applying more force. And every one of them makes people clutch their coats tighter and eye the door. Fight. Flight. Freeze.
I’m not saying these leaders are malicious. They’re usually genuinely trying to help. They can see the problem clearly. They feel the urgency viscerally. The Wind’s approach feels like decisive leadership.
But it doesn’t work. Not for sustainable culture change.
What the Sun Does Differently
The Sun didn’t make the traveler remove his coat. It created conditions where removing the coat felt like the natural, desirable thing to do.
This is the fundamental shift: from forcing change to fostering readiness. From pushing people to change to creating an environment where they want to change.
But what does that actually look like? How do you “be the Sun” in organizational culture?
It means assessing and cultivating five essential conditions:
1. Warmth: Making Change Feel Safe, Not Threatening
The Sun didn’t threaten the traveler. It didn’t criticize him for wearing the coat. It created warmth that made the coat feel unnecessary.
Most culture change initiatives accidentally make people afraid. The new culture sounds like: “Everything you’ve been doing is wrong. Become someone different or go.”
That’s Wind thinking. And it makes people grip their coats tighter.
Wind approach: “Our old culture of individual heroics is toxic and unsustainable. From now on, we’re collaborative.”
Sun approach: “I’m curious—when was the last time you solved a problem and felt genuinely supported by others? What made that different? What would it take to make that the norm instead of the exception?”
See the difference? The Wind invalidates people’s past successes, competency and threatens their identity. The Sun acknowledges their strengths and experience and invites them toward something that would feel better, not just different.
Creating warmth means:
Validating what’s worked in the past, even as you evolve it
Framing change as moving toward strengths, not shaming perceived inadequacies
Making it safe to be uncertain, to struggle, to learn
Leading with curiosity rather than judgment
2. Visibility: Showing the New Culture, Not Just Describing It
The Sun didn’t give a lecture about the benefits of warmth. It created the actual experience of warmth. The traveler didn’t have to imagine what it would feel like—he felt it.
Most culture change lives in PowerPoint presentations and abstract language. “We’re committed to psychological safety.” “We value our clients.” “We are trying to avoid burnout.”
But what does that actually look like in daily work? In meetings? In decision-making? In how you respond when things go wrong?
Wind approach: “We’re committed to psychological safety. Here’s a framework with four stages. Everyone needs to demonstrate these behaviors.”
Sun approach: “Did you notice what just happened in this meeting? When Sarah said ‘I don’t know,’ nobody jumped on it or passed blame. Instead, three people offered to explore it together. That’s what psychological safety enables. More of that.”
Creating visibility means:
Pointing out the new culture when you see it in action (praising approximation)
Telling stories about real examples in your context (modeling appropriate vulnerability)
Making the invisible visible through reflection and narration (modeling appropriate self-disclosure)
Celebrating imperfect attempts, not just polished performances (start your staff meetings with ‘celebrations’)
3. Permission: Removing Barriers, Not Adding Requirements
The Sun didn’t make taking off the coat harder. It made wearing the coat uncomfortable and removing it easy and natural.
Too many change initiatives add requirements without removing constraints. They ask people to collaborate more while keeping them in individual performance systems. They demand model fidelity while maintaining approval processes that kill a sense of competency. They request vulnerability while promoting people who project invincibility—”I can handle anything that comes my way, crisis doesn’t phase me”—until they are toast, practicing gallows humor on the way to burnout.
Wind approach: “Everyone needs to dedicate 20% time to documentation, on top of your current workload and deliverables. Come in on the weekends if you have to. We will lose funding if we don’t have appropriate documentation for the site visit next week.”
Sun approach: “What’s currently on your plate that doesn’t align with where we’re headed? What can we stop doing to create space for what actually matters? What permission do you need that you don’t currently have?”
Creating permission means:
Removing at least as much as you add
Clearing obstacles rather than just setting expectations
Giving people agency over how they implement change
Changing systems and structures, not just individual behaviors
Look at how you lead and how that might be impacting the culture
4. Modeling: Leading with Your Own Coat Off
The Sun didn’t tell the traveler what to do. It simply shone. It went first.
Leaders underestimate how much people are watching them. Not listening to what they say—watching what they do. Especially when it’s difficult. Especially when it makes them vulnerable.
If you want people to collaborate, they need to see you asking for help. If you want people to be transparent, they need to see you admit mistakes. If you want people to prioritize learning, they need to see you saying “I don’t know” and “I was wrong.”
Wind approach: “I expect all of you to be vulnerable and ask for help. It’s critical to our new culture.” (While privately solving all your own problems and never showing uncertainty.)
Sun approach: “I need help. I’m stuck on this decision and I’m worried I’m too close to it. Can we think this through together? I trust your perspective.”
Creating modeling means:
Going first with the behaviors you want to see
Being genuinely human, not performatively vulnerable
Showing the messy middle of change, not just the polished end state
Making it clear through your actions what’s truly valued
5. Consistency: Shining Steadily, Not in Bursts
The Sun didn’t blast the traveler with intense heat for five minutes and then disappear. It shone steadily, creating sustained warmth that made the change feel safe and permanent.
Many culture initiatives are spotlight moments—big launches, inspiring summits, intense executive attention—followed by a return to business as usual. The old systems remain. The old incentives stay in place. People learn quickly that the safest bet is to wait it out.
Wind approach: Three-day culture summit with inspiring speakers, then back to the same meeting structures where the loudest voice wins and people get rewarded for the old behaviors.
Sun approach: Different meeting structures that reinforce new norms. Promotion decisions that signal what’s truly valued. Budget allocations that match stated priorities. Day after day after day.
Creating consistency means:
Aligning systems with values, not just speeches with values
Making small, steady moves rather than dramatic gestures
Following through even when it’s inconvenient
Treating this as a new climate, not a temporary weather pattern
The Question That Reveals Everything
When leaders ask me, “How do I motivate these stuck light bulbs to change?” I always ask them this in return:
“Tell me about the last time you tried to implement change. Walk me through what you did.”
And as they talk, I’m listening for one thing: Are they describing Wind strategies or Sun strategies?
Are they talking about how they communicated the change, or how they created conditions for the change?
Are they focused on what they said to people, or what environment they built?
Are they trying to overcome resistance, or reduce the conditions that create resistance in the first place?
The answers tell me everything I need to know about why their change efforts succeeded or failed.
The Discipline of Being the Sun
Here’s what makes the Sun strategy hard for many leaders: it feels too slow, too soft, too indirect when you can see the problem clearly and feel the urgency viscerally.
The Wind’s approach feels decisive. It feels like leadership. It feels like you’re doing something.
But ask yourself: How’s that working out?
If blowing harder created lasting culture change, your previous initiatives would have stuck. If force and urgency and mandates worked, you wouldn’t be looking for new approaches.
The Sun’s strategy requires a different kind of strength. Not the strength to push harder, but the strength to:
Be patient while building genuine readiness
Focus on conditions rather than compliance
Lead through modeling rather than mandating
Trust people to respond to warmth rather than force
Stay consistent when the pressure is on to show quick wins
This isn’t soft leadership. This is disciplined strategic leadership. It’s harder, not easier, because it requires you to examine and change your own approach rather than just trying to change everyone else.
When You Stop Being the Wind
Here’s what I’ve seen happen when leaders truly shift from Wind to Sun:
The early adopters stop burning out. Instead of trying to drag reluctant colleagues forward, they start attracting curious ones. The energy shifts from exhaustion to possibility.
The cynicism fades. When people see that leaders are genuinely willing to change their own behavior and systems—not just demand others change—they start to believe this might be different.
The resistance transforms. Not because you’ve overcome it or broken through it, but because you’ve reduced the conditions that created it. People start taking their coats off because keeping them on doesn’t make sense anymore.
The change becomes self-sustaining. You’re no longer the only one holding up the new culture. Others start modeling it, advocating for it, protecting it.
Not because you forced them to. Because you created an environment where they genuinely wanted to.
The Light Bulb and the Sun
So let me bring this back to where we started.
How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change.
The question isn’t “How do I manipulate the light bulb into wanting to change?”
The question is “Am I creating the conditions where change feels better than staying the same?”
Are you being the Wind or the Sun?
Are you trying to blow the coat off through force, urgency, mandates, and pressure? Or are you creating the warm conditions where people naturally want to let go of their defenses and step into something new?
That’s the work. Not fixing resistant people. Creating functional environments.
Not forcing light bulbs to change. Shining steadily until they want to.
